THE POWER OF MY BREAKTHROUGH FROM PORN

http://www.quickhomeseller.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Broken-Chain1.jpg

http://www.quickhomeseller.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Broken-Chain1.jpg

So in light of my recent posts, you may have noticed that I have been inspired by a young lady who has shared her testimony.

Well I thought now would be an apt time to share my testimony, not the daily living testimony I have shared, but the testimony of where God has brought me from, my past. So let me take you back on my journey.

I can’t remember the exact date, but about 6 years ago, I already knew the Lord, but far from intimately. So when I stumbled upon porn, it didn’t take much to sway me. The attractive and addictive nature of it all was greater than my love for Christ. So fast forward through some time, one thing leads to the next. Magazines turn into an online addiction. I am now captive to sin, captive to porn. I remember the delight I would find when Tuesday came, the day in the week where I had the entire afternoon and evening to myself. On top of this, every evening I could stay up late and did, to view porn, but Tuesday was my special day, as I didn’t have to keep a constant watch for if someone would come home or pop into the study and catch me.

So I was still attending church all this time, feeling guilty but unable to stop as much as I tried. Eventually the guilt started to ware off; my excuse, that God would rescue me if He really wanted me to stop (He has rescued me and He really did want me free, as does he want anyone captive to sin to be free.) So unfortunately this is the point where I have lost some of my story, not because it doesn’t exist, but because all memories were replaced by 100’s of thousands of images of porn. Porn literally cemented itself in my brain.

So we are now about 4 years down the line from the start of it all, still addicted to porn, a lot had happened, of which I cannot express here, due to the sensitivity of it all, in which I need to protect those close to me, (A lesson I have learned –  never share others testimonies without their permission, as the context of any testimony is important and without it, people can interpret the testimony wrong). Whilst now actively trying to break the addiction through all sorts of methods. Methods such as wearing an elastic band around my wrist to pull on and hurt myself every time I thought of something lustful, to reading the bible when lust came up. You name it, I tried it. Nothing worked, I was still struggling to break the addiction to porn in my life, as I was still relying on my strength. Then, a trigger in a message at church got me thinking, and I went back to the words my pastor had said. “A father will never deny his son help,” God my heavenly Father would never deny me the help I asked of Him.

This was the start of something and I prayed and somehow managed to get free for a period of 6 months, (I would set calendar dates for when I would ‘break free’ only to reset them to other dates when I failed, another method of encouragement to break free that I tried.) The thing is though, I had not dealt with the issue, I had not dealt with what porn meant to me. Porn was my escape, my joy.

So when things got tough, I was back at it again. So now I was an addict, again, and I can’t deny it. YET God still loved me.

I then came across a Christian website after searching ways to break a porn addiction. I tried the course on the website, and it is brilliant, I have to say. The lessons I learned there eventually helped me to be the free man I am today. Unfortunately I did not manage to complete the entire course, as I missed one of the key lessons in the beginning that God would have me learn.

The lesson I still had to learn was to find my joy in the Lord and not elsewhere. I managed to move from seeking joy in porn, to finding it in my girlfriend, places where I shouldn’t have been finding it. It is only once my girlfriend broke up with me that I realised my desire and want to be wanted. I will forever be thankful to her for her obedience to Christ in breaking up with me, else I would not have learned this lesson.

Just over a year down the line, I can truly say God has taught me many a more lessons, of which, I think I will share in future posts. Lessons about Him, and lessons of how to break free from addictions, all of which I have had to learn.

Over the past year, I have grown spiritually like never before, all because I surrender myself to Christ. If I had to show you the person I was behind hidden doors a year ago, to the person I am now, even I would still be and am in awe of the greatness of our Saviour. He works miracles like no other.

Every time I hear the statistics, that one in every 2 men and one in every 3 women in the church today are addicted to porn my heart sinks in sorrow. My heart sinks at the thought and knowledge of the pain they are going through. All I want to do is rescue them all, but I can not do this, for it is only Christ who can truly rescue them. I can but only lead them to Christ. So for the next few post, as I mentioned above, I think I am going to focus on the lessons I had to learn. I hope they will help at least one of you out there to come to the saving power of Christ, so that you too can be free, because freedom is possible.

A note for everyone out there, from someone who was an addict, every addict out there is a person, everyone needs to be loved by someone, don’t judge them, just love them, this is one of the lessons the Lord showed me. People fail, but our God loves them still, and we too are called to love everyone from where they are, leading them to Christ. I don’t condone porn, but I love those who view it no less than I love my family. I just pray that through this whole experience that people will be set free, not judged, but helped as they come to know the Lord.

 

This is part 1 in the series
Part 2 – THE POWER OF GLORIFYING GOD
Part 3 – THE POWER OF INTIMACY
Part 4 – THE POWER OF SAYING NO
Part 5 – THE POWER OF TELLING MY SECRET
Part 6 – THE POWER OF HOLDING A TRIGGER
Part 7 – THE POWER OF TURNING A BACK ON PORN
Part 8 – THE POWERLESSNESS OF MY STRUGGLE WITH PORN
Part 9 – A REMINDER THAT GOD LOVES YOU
Part 10 – ACCEPTING JESUS AS YOUR SAVIOUR (This should actually be step one!)

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27 responses to “THE POWER OF MY BREAKTHROUGH FROM PORN

  1. awesome testimony, God can grant the grace to anyone that surrenders their sin and wants to be set free 🙂 I enjoyed reading your story, a reminder of how great & big our God is. God bless you!

  2. Pingback: THE POWER OF MY BREAKTHROUGH FROM PORN | thediaryofachipmunk's Blog·

  3. Pingback: THE POWER OF GLORIFYING GOD | thepowerof1blog·

  4. Thank you for having the courage to share! Your writing is enjoyable to read. 🙂
    My story is different but follows in that a year ago I did not know the joy of the Lord either. Sadly, my Bible had a layer of dust on it. He’s amazing isn’t he?! What he can in an instant would take us years. 🙂

    Have you heard about Kris Vallotton’s ministry, Moral Revolution? http://moralrevolution.com/kris-vallotton
    It’s fresh, honest, realistic, full of truth and far from being stuffy. I think you would enjoy it.

    Blessings!
    Bethany

  5. Pingback: THE POWER OF TELLING MY SECRET | thepowerof1blog·

  6. Pingback: THE POWER OF HOLDING A TRIGGER | thepowerof1blog·

  7. Howdie Ashton. I am no longer able to reside in God’s glorious light and speak the “porn” so from now on I will speak metaphorically. I would like your adive please. My grand father gave me. A box. A box of sin (to swim in my honesty). It contained old school magazines. I have not been able to get rid of those red devilish stars out of my head. It is ditracting me from my work. Help!

    • Hey there. 🙂 I am not sure I am fully understanding, but are you asking how to get rid of the box of sin, specifically get rid of it out of your head? Maybe send me an email and we can chat in a not so public environment as it seems you would like?

  8. Pingback: THE POWER OF FINDING FREEDOM FROM ADDICTIONS SERIES LINKS | thepowerof1blog·

  9. My last drink was May 14, 1978…The seemingly impossible became reality…In order to keep my sobriety i must give it away; an oxymoron that you grasp…PS Thanks for the like of “Faith is….”David

  10. Pingback: Pornographic Breakthrough | Testimonies of His Goodness·

  11. Pingback: THE POWERLESSNESS OF MY STRUGGLE WITH PORN | thepowerof1blog·

  12. Pingback: THE POWER OF TURNING A BACK ON PORN | thepowerof1blog·

  13. Pingback: A REMINDER THAT GOD LOVES YOU | thepowerof1blog·

  14. Pingback: THE POWER OF SAYING NO | thepowerof1blog·

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